How to Advocate for Yourself in Financial Planning (Especially If You're Neurodivergent)
Accommodations can help a wide range of folks show up as their best selves, disabled or not.
So maybe you read about accommodations that can make financial planning feel more manageable; things like flexible meetings, written summaries, or breaking big tasks into smaller steps. And you thought:
That sounds like what I’ve been looking for…but can I really ask for that?
Yes. You absolutely can.
Here's how to start advocating for yourself in financial spaces, especially if you're used to being the “easy client” who nods along, then leaves meetings completely drained.
Know What Helps You Think, Process, and Decide
Start by identifying what kinds of support help your brain work with you, not against you. For example:
“I take in information best when it’s written down.”
“I’m a deep thinker and need extra time to make a decision.”
“I get overwhelmed by long to-do lists.”
“I do better with visuals or analogies than with numbers alone.”
“Using a stim toy helps me tune out the noise and feel calmer.”
“Every time we meet I’m really distracted by the busy street outside.”
“Indirect communication is confusing.”
“I tell stories as a way of connecting with others, but sometimes people think I’m rambling on.”
This doesn’t need to be formal or diagnostic. You’re just noticing what helps you show up best.
Practice Naming Your Needs
You don’t need to preface your asks with a diagnosis or disclosure. Simple, neutral language works just fine:
“Would you mind sending a quick summary after our meeting? That helps me a lot.”
“Can we slow down here? I want to make sure I’m taking everything in.”
“Can we focus on just one or two things at a time?”
“It’s easier for me to follow along if we screen share or you share examples.”
“You might see me using a squish ball or stim toy. This helps me focus on what you’re saying.”
“The view of downtown is really great, but it makes it harder for me to pay attention. Could we meet in a different location?”
“I thrive on clear communication. Would you mind elaborating on what you just said?”
“Head’s up, my communication style is narrative-rich and I like sharing stories. If you ever are starting to lose the thread, feel free to let me know and I’ll do my best to clarify.”
You don’t need permission to ask for what will help you be successful. Most professionals want to be helpful; they just might not know how until you tell them.
What to Look For: Red and Green Flags
If someone mocks, dismisses, or pushes past your needs, that’s not a good fit. Despite what you may have been told, it’s not “too much” or “difficult” to ask for support that allows you to engage with your own finances.
Look for green flags like curiosity, flexibility, transparency, and respect. These qualities can be harder to put into words, but you’ll likely feel the difference.
If you find it challenging to tune into your body, try doing a quick body scan. Notice if you’re holding tension in places like your jaw, hands, or shoulders.
If you feel relaxed and able to share openly without fear of judgment, that’s a strong sign you’re in the right place.
Remember: The Planner Works for You
It’s okay to interview planners the same way you’d also screen any other professional like a therapist or doctor to make sure they’ll be a good fit. After all, financial planning involves opening up about money, which can feel just as vulnerable. Ask:
“How do you typically communicate with clients?”
“Do you offer accommodations for people who are neurodivergent/have different processing styles?”
“Can we structure our work together in a way that breaks things down into manageable steps?”
You don’t need to twist yourself into someone else’s idea of “organized” or “serious” to get support.
Self-advocacy is a skill. You don’t have to be perfect at it right away.
Sometimes, the hardest part is unlearning the belief that you’re not allowed to ask for what you need. However, your needs are valid, and a professional planner will want you to feel supported and empowered.
And if you think that person could be me? I’d be delighted to chat and see if we’re a match.
Disclaimer: This information is for educational purposes only and doesn't constitute financial advice. Consider consulting with a fee-only financial planner for personalized guidance.
